Dear Batman Master Bruce,
I hope this letter finds you well.
As you are obviously quite busy playing the role of playboy billionaire during the day…
and protecting Gotham City as the Dark Knight come nightfall,
I am taking into consideration that you have very little time to sit down and chat. As such, I decided that writing you a letter would be more prudent.
I must say that all those years in Valet Academy did not prepare me for this, but I am not complaining. I am simply stating a fact. But, as your legal guardian, I have a few issues to settle with you.
Now when you come home from your crime-fighting, how many times must I repeat that you leave the suit stain removal to me?
And, may I request that you get more sleep when you are at home, Sir? An hour or 2 a day is not sufficient for a man of your “nature”.
And on that note, eating is also not optional.
Also, you must set a good example for the boys and eat your vegetables, as well.
On that note, just when I thought my babysitting duties were behind me, you decided to take Master Dick under your wing.
Let us also not forget the other Robins, Master Jason & Master Tim.
It does not help that Dick, who is now Nightwing, still acts like a child.
Now I am faced with a most “formidable” ward yet – your very own son, Damian. Why am I not surprised that he is as stubborn as his father?
I also do not appreciate having blood dripped on the floors of Wayne Manor and as such would like to request that you stay inside the Batcave until I can attend to you and administer first aid.
May I also call your attention to the fact that your superfriends keep dropping by unannounced?
How am I to have ample time to prepare refreshments?
Now, despite your lack of a sense of humor, I’m quite sure that you do enjoy my sarcastic quips and cynical comments and as such, a laugh, or even a smile, once in a while would not hurt.
That is all… for now.
Yours,
Alfred
——————————
* This is my official entry to The Dark Knight Reborn Bloggers’ Challenge. T and I are huge fans of Batman and, hands down, one of my favorite characters is, his valet, Alfred Pennyworth. No one can deny that Batman is nothing without him but it is the comic relief he provides that makes him most endearing. He’s English and speaks fluent sarcasm. I love how he is the exact opposite of Bruce Wayne/Batman’s tight-assness. 
Anyway, don’t forget to check out Fully Booked’s Batman Event and get a chance to meet DC Comics Artist, David Finch!
**Did you guys know that T & I had a superhero-themed engagement photo session? 
You can view the entire session here
That is all. Thank you. Bow. 
Comic images taken from fuckyeahalfredpennyworth.tumblr.com
This is my favorite-EST (+ all the superlatives in the world) of your blog entries. I’m gonna bookmark it for days I need comic relief. I love Alfred!!! =)
Thank you! You touch my heart
Love this post! Ü
Thanks Marj! Glad you enjoyed it.
GEEKGASM! I LOVE IT! And how adorable are your pre-nup photos na may kwento pa from T?
Heehee
Thanks Ayla! The kwento was something he planned with our photographer. Glad you love my post! 
Really funny post. Grabe you really are a fan! By the way, you’re so pretty in your pre-nup photos, Suyen! I crush.
Heehee
Thanks Corrine! Our wedding also has elements of superheroes in it. I should blog about that, too.
I also love Batman and even bought a batman belt online where the the belt ornament can be used as a boomerang, for safety reasons I never tried it. I felt sympathy for Alfred.
That’s awesome! I’d love to see that
Oh this is super nice. You got me hooked right from the start. I hope you win!!! I’m rooting for you!:)
Yay! Thank you Blanca! I hope I win, too.
Cool article… Batman is also my favorite DC hero… why? he is just a man like you and me without any super powers…
I agree. He’s just a plain bad ass!
LOLLL OH U, BATS. XD
Really enjoyed this post, I hope you win the challenge!
Thank you! Glad you liked it.
Funny! Very creative post! Good luck with the Batman blogging contest! :)
Thank you, Stephanie! I’m praying I win. Hehe
Great Post! Guess now I know where I learned how to be sarcastic :) Though I was hoping for speech bubbles on your pre-nup photos
Haha I think I’ll do speech bubbles for them for our anniversary. Thanks for the tip!
At first I was like, who is Alfred Pennyworth? When I saw the images and as I was reading your post, I was like… Ahhhh… Hehe :)
Haha not a lot of people know that so it’s ok
Hahahaha!!! Great post! Not the biggest Batman fan, but I really enjoyed reading this. :)
Thanks Ayzee! Happy to find so many people enjoy reading it. Thanks for dropping by!
really cool! congratulations on winning the bloggers challenge!
Thank you Chris! I’m so happy I can’t stop smiling!
Awesome piece, dude. I like how you shone the light on dear old Alfred. He’s a favorite of mine, too! :-) Congrats!
Thanks Kat! Glad you liked my entry
What an awesome post! Congratulations on winning. :)
Thank you Sarah!